BoozeNews.Com

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0><script> (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga'); ga('create', 'UA-47423994-1', 'fortunecity.ws'); ga('send', 'pageview'); </script> <center> <br> <div> <script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://ad.broadcaststation.net/ads/show_ad.php?width=728&height=90"></script> </div> </center> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=80 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF" bgproperties="fixed" background="00100500dvldtc.gif"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#FFCC66" FACE="Arial" ><B>BoozeNews.Com</B></FONT><B>     |     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="BoozeNews.Com"><U><B>home</B></U></A></div> <div>                                                   </div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=210 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF" background="002d2c00dvldtc.gif"> <div> <A HREF="id10.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="articles"><U><B>Articles!</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id11.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Short Comedy Stories"><U><B>Short Comedy Stories</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id15.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Songs"><U><B>Songs</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id12.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="links"><U><B>Links</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id13.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="email"><U><B>Email Me</B></U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=400 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> BoozeNews.Com</div> <div> This site is devoted to my (Jake Arber) pointless comedy, parody, satirical articles that are completely made... up oh and short stories :) enjoy...</div> <bR> <div> Just a little useless information before you embark on a jouney that will broaden your mind, tantalize your sences, mesmorize your oh forget this crap just go and read, thats what your here for... BUT! one last thing if you see any of these symbols when you read this key will help you understand them:</div> <div> :) smilely face (means happy)</div> <div> :( frowning face (means sad)</div> <div> :| neutral (means neutral)</div> <div> 3:8) happy cow</div> <div> 3:8D realy happy cow</div> <div> 3:8( sad cow </div> <div> 3:@) cow that is not sure weather it is a cow or a pig</div> <div> :@)  happy pig</div> <div> :@D realy happy pig (though a bit ugly)</div> <div> :@( sad pig (possibly because i said it was ugly)</div> <div> 8|) happy frog</div> <div> 8|( sad frog</div> <div> (there is no realy happy frog because honestly when was the last time you saw a frog grin..)</div> <div> @#%^$^%@&^!!! me swearing withought actually doing it...</div> <div> thats it...</div> <bR> <div> Disclaimer: This site is meant for adult use only! if you are under the age of 18 please only visit this site acompanied by an adult who is physically over the age of 18 (preferably mentally as well). Because if you are any younger than 18 you still have a life and this site very well may ruin that for you. As you know once you grow up everything sucks anyways so it wont matter. Just ask Peter Pan... thank you.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Articles!</B></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="chegg"><U><B>Scientists claim to have discovered the answer to the age old philosophical question: which came first the chicken or the egg the answer: the Chegg</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id19.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Title 19"><U><B>Cartoons: The latest Threat</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Title 20"><U><B>SARS a Conspiricy? (this ones reaaaly bad but read it for a quick laugh.. i needed to fill space.. ok? deal with it.. punk...</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id9.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="apose sex"><U><B>Anti-Abortionist's now apose sex</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id14.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="North Afganiraq"><U><B>Instead of the "axis of evil " Bush lumps countries together to form one giant evil country named:North Afganiraq</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="self marraige"><U><B>New York State Legalizes Self Marraige</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="New Planet"><U>N.A.S.A discovers new planet, Bush declares war</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>Many more will be put here in the next few days... there all written... these headlines will have stories attached within days:</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> </B><A HREF="id5.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="fish ocean to expensive"><U><B>fish say ocean to expensive to live, move to Brooklyn</B></U></A></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B> </B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Suddam Husein the next fasion statement?</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id6.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="bush pregnant"><U><B>President Bush pregnant with Chaney's child</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id7.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="cows the best"><U><B>Cows named animal of the millenium</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id8.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="sponge bob"><U><B>Sponge Bob squarepants elected president of Kenya</B></U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <div> Short Comedy Stories:</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="god.net"><U>God.Net</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="cats"><U>House Cat By Day, Meowfia By Night, Memiors Of A Troubled Cat</U></A></div> <bR> <div> and more coming soon</div> <bR> <div>  <div align="center"><p> <a href="http://pub22.bravenet.com/guestbook/show.php?usernum=1865059908&cpv=1"> <img src="http://images.bravenet.com/pub/viewbook.gif" border="0" width="100" height="35" /></a> <a href="http://www.bravenet.com/"> <img src="http://images.bravenet.com/pub/gbook.gif" border="0" width="100" height="35" /></a> </div>  </div> <bR> <div> Fine Print:<FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFCC66" FACE="Blackadder ITC" > Damn print just doesn't get any finer than this... Font BlackadderITC oh yahhhhh....</FONT></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div>  <script language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript" src="http://pub22.bravenet.com/counter/code.php?id=351542&usernum=1865059908&groupnum=22&cpv=1"> </script> <noscript> <a href="http://counter22.bravenet.com/index.php?id=351542&usernum=1865059908&cpv=1" target="_top"><img src="http://counter22.bravenet.com/counter.php?id=351542&usernum=1865059908" alt="Bravenet.com" border="0" /></a> </noscript>  </div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>